Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Attacked

in Animal Jokes
+53 -26

Someone attacked me last night with a bat.

I was really impressed with how well he trained it.

Shark

in Animal Jokes
+60 -34

Saw a man earlier today at the beach shouting “Help, shark! Help!”. It made me laugh, there’s no way he was ever gonna convince a shark to help him.

Allergic

in Animal Jokes
+53 -28

Recently found out I’m allergic to cats. That’s the last time I eat at a Chinese restaurant.

ChinChilla

in Animal Jokes
+36 -13

Just bought a chinchilla.
That should hopefully keep my chin nice and cool in all this heat.

Horse

in Animal Jokes
+59 -39

A horse walks into a bar…
The bartender says “Why the long face?”

The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and leaves.