Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Private Number Plates

in Animal Jokes
+17 -65

I can’t afford private number plates so I’ve decided to change my name to v16 5uw.

New Puppy

in Animal Jokes
+33 -88

Just got back home from holiday and my new puppy has caused a lot of problems. It shat everywhere, ripped all the furniture and then starved to death.

Long Face

in Animal Jokes
+31 -102

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”. The horse turns to him and says, “My wife is dying of terminal cancer.”

Cat Food

in Animal Jokes
+42 -160

Cat food shouldn’t include beef or tuna. They’re too big for cats to eat in the wild. It should only be made of mice, birds and dead pensioners.