FunnyShortJokes.com http://www.funnyshortjokes.com Get your short jokes rated! Sat, 22 Sep 2018 13:25:31 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 FAT http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/fat Sat, 22 Sep 2018 13:25:31 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11936 YO MOMMA’S SO FAT, SHE’S ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FAMILY !!!

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YO MOMMA’S SO FAT, SHE’S ON BOTH SIDES OF THE FAMILY !!!

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Wife http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/wife-6 Sat, 22 Sep 2018 12:54:27 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11945 Q. What do you say to your wife during sex? A. Nothing.. I don’t phone Read more

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Q. What do you say to your wife during sex?
A. Nothing.. I don’t phone the wife when I’m having sex.

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Black Paint http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/black-paint Thu, 20 Sep 2018 09:00:40 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11920 Apparently I can’t say “Black paint!” any more. I have to be PC and say, Read more

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Apparently I can’t say “Black paint!” any more. I have to be PC and say, “Please paint that wall, Winston.”

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Vegetables http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/vegetables-3 Thu, 20 Sep 2018 08:10:40 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11902 Q.Why should you not microwave vegetables? A.The wheelchair can damage the microwave.

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Q.Why should you not microwave vegetables?
A.The wheelchair can damage the microwave.

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Different Girl http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/different-girl Tue, 18 Sep 2018 09:00:16 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11919 I manage to bring a different girl home every weekend. It’s getting quite crowded in Read more

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I manage to bring a different girl home every weekend. It’s getting quite crowded in my basement.

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Drinking http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/drinking-3 Tue, 18 Sep 2018 08:00:39 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11886 My favourite text message to send to the wife when I’m out drinking at the Read more

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My favourite text message to send to the wife when I’m out drinking at the bar.

“I’ll be home in 5 minutes… If not… read this again!!”

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Phone Fun http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/phone-fun Sun, 16 Sep 2018 09:00:30 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11915 My girlfriend said, “Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?” I said, “Yeah, definitely. Let’s Read more

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My girlfriend said, “Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?” I said, “Yeah, definitely. Let’s call your mum and tell her you’ve died.”

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Chicken Salad http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/chicken-salad Sun, 16 Sep 2018 08:00:47 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11916 I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky b*stard didn’t even eat it.

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I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky b*stard didn’t even eat it.

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Knock Knock http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/knock-knock Sun, 16 Sep 2018 08:00:04 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11912 Knock knock. Who’s there? Dave. Dave who? *Dave holds back tears as he realises his Read more

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Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dave.
Dave who?
*Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother’s Alzheimers is getting worse.*

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Steak http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/steak Fri, 14 Sep 2018 09:00:36 +0000 http://www.funnyshortjokes.com/?p=11909 I like to have my steak cooked the same way I like sex with my Read more

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I like to have my steak cooked the same way I like sex with my wife… Rare.

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