Man: You’re a bit fat aren’t you.
Women: Tell me something I don’t know!
Man: Salad taste’s nice.
Q. How does a duck fart?
A. Through his arsequack.
When 3 people have sex, it’s a threesome. When 2 people have sex, it’s a twosome.
Now I understand why they call me handsome.
I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.
“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”
My wife wanted something that goes from 0 to 100 in a few seconds for valentines day so I got her a weighing scale .