Just found out that if you squint your eyes really hard you can actually make your nose bleed. I did it earlier today on the train and a Chinese person came up to me and punched me in the face.
The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.
Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.