Q. What’s the best thing about dating black girls?
A. You never have to meet the father.
Girlfriend just told me she doesn’t care what she gets for Christmas as long as it has diamonds in it.
A pack of playing cards it is then.
My wife apologized for the first time ever today!
She said she’s sorry she ever married me.
The following conversation took place at bar
Customer: What’s the WiFi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first.
Customer: Ok, I’ll have a coke.
Barman: $10 please.
Customer: There you go. So what’s the wifi password?
Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase!
Q. Why was the coffee sad?
A. Because it was depresso
Old MacDonald had tourette’s.