Q. What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
A. Your spine.
Q. What’s the best thing about dating black girls?
A. You never have to meet the father.
Girlfriend just told me she doesn’t care what she gets for Christmas as long as it has diamonds in it.
A pack of playing cards it is then.
I went to the doctors earlier today with hearing problems.
He said “Can u describe the symptoms?”
I said “Homers a fat guy and Marge has blue hair”
My lesbian next door neighbors just gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
I really like it but I think they misunderstood when I said “I wanna watch”.
The following conversations took place between a girlfriend and boyfriend.
Girl: Do you think I’m pretty or ugly?
Boy: You’re both!
Girl: What do you mean?
Boy: You’re pretty ugly