Funny Short Jokes

Find the best quick hilariously funny jokes that are easy to remember.

Friend App

in General Jokes
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Just found an app that tells you if your friend is retarded.
It’s called Facebook.

London Marathon

in Sports Jokes
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Did anyone else see the London Marathon the other day? Seems a bit cruel to get hundreds of Ethiopians and Kenyans to run around for miles and then give them an empty silver plate at the end.

Lord of The Rings

in Relationship Jokes
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Reading Lord of the Rings at the moment. Apparently Gollum used to be normal but wearing the ring drained him of energy.

Reminds me a lot of my marriage.

Tourettes

in Disabled Jokes
+4 -3

The following conversation took place in a library.

Customer: Do you have a book on Tourette’s symdrome?
Librarian : F*ck off you c*nt!
Customer: Yes, that’s the one!

Swimming Pool

in General Jokes
+3 -8

Had a piss in my local swimming pool earlier this morning. Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I almost fell off the diving board.

Harry Potter

in Surreal Jokes
+6 -7

If harry potter really has magic powers why can’t he cure his bad eyesight?