Funnyshortjokes.com

Sep

By Dave

+3 -2

I manage to bring a different girl home every weekend. It’s getting quite crowded in my basement.

Sep

By Sammy

+2 -1

My favourite text message to send to the wife when I’m out drinking at the bar.

“I’ll be home in 5 minutes… If not… read this again!!”

Sep

By Dave

+3 -7

My girlfriend said, “Fancy a bit of phone fun tonight?” I said, “Yeah, definitely. Let’s call your mum and tell her you’ve died.”

Sep

By Das21

+4 -5

I made a chicken salad today. Cheeky b*stard didn’t even eat it.

Sep

By SteeA

+4 -9

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dave.
Dave who?
*Dave holds back tears as he realises his mother’s Alzheimers is getting worse.*

Sep

By Dave

+4 -8

I like to have my steak cooked the same way I like sex with my wife… Rare.

Funny Short Jokes