Did you hear about that new device that can make your car 95% quieter? It fits straight over your wife’s mouth.
Do you have a phone in your back pocket… because your ass is calling me.
I love how all these vegans still drink water. That’s a fishes house you disgusting savages.
Just decided on my new career, I’m going to be a reverse stripper. My plan is to become really fat, get completely naked, and then force people to pay me to put my clothes back on.
Feeling really alone today so I decided to buy some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company.
Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the beach she’s the only one that gets a tan.