“Where do you want this big roll of bubble wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop it in the corner,” he said.
After 3 hours of popping I’ve now been fired :(!
If women could read minds men would get slapped every 2 seconds.
If you lose one sense, your other senses become enhanced.
This is why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
For those worried about Alexa listening to your conversations Amazon are now releasing a male version called Alex who ignores everything you say.
Me and my wife decided to make our own sex film
She was really angry when she discovered I was holding auditions for her part.
Crimewatch have released their first book, it has the 50 most wanted criminals in Britain in it.
It’s called “50 shades of black”