Just seen a sign that made me sh*t myself…
It said “Bathroom closed”.
Q. How do farmers party?
A. They turnip the beats.
Following conversation took place between husband and wife in a cafe.
Husband: I love you.
Wife: Is that you talking or the wine?
Husband: I was talking to the wine.
Went on a roller-coaster yesterday and the woman next to me couldn’t stop screaming.
Seriously… It was like she’d never seen a penis before.
Just had the following conversation in a job interview.
Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.
They say money is the root of all evil which is why I never give any money to Africa. They have enough problems already.