My wife asked me, “What did you buy me for valentines day?”
“Well,” I chuckled. “You see that pink Mercedes over there?”
“Yes,” she said happily.
“Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour.”
My kids cried when I put ginger in their curry tonight. They loved that little kitten.
Decided that I am going to buy my girlfriend flowers every day in February. The girl who works in the florists is really hot.
Just seen 2 men beating up a little kid so I decided to step in and help. He didn’t stand a chance against the 3 of us.
Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!
Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.
Q. What’s funnier than being raped?
A. Being raped by a clown