The following conversation took place between a couple at the cinema.
Girlfriend: I think the guy next to me is jerking off.
Boyfriend: Just ignore him.
Girlfriend: I can’t.
Girlfriend: He’s using my hand.
What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip?
We used to be really tight until we let that dick come between us.
My parents always taught me to chase my dreams but last night the police told me that stalking women is actually illegal and if they catch me again I could be sent to jail.
The following conversation took place while a prisoner was awaiting execution by electric chair.
Priest: Do you have any last requests?
Prisoner: Yes I do, can I hold your hand?
The following conversation took place at the supermarket while buying condoms.
Cashier: Do you want a bag for that?
Me: Thanks for the compliment but I think the condoms should be big enough.
Q. Why do you not see any black people on cruise ships?
A. They’re not falling for that one again.