Just invented a vaccine that can save 3 million Africans per year.
It’s called FOOD.
Tomorrow, I’m going to open up the time capsule I made 20 years ago when I was a kid. I can’t wait to see how big my puppy is.
1. Pour a glass of wine
2. If you can smell it you don’t have Covid
3. If you can taste it you don’t have Covid
Repeat 15 times just be to sure.
I’m furious. Just found my wife’s profile on an on-line dating website.
That lying bitch isn’t, “Fun to be around.”
There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk. Up
They say a dog is a man’s best friend. But even my worst enemy would never stare directly into my eyes whilst taking a shit on my carpet.