Note to self…. When your girlfriend says “You can stick it anywhere you want”, that doesn’t include her sister.
The following conversation took place is school classroom.
Teacher: Ok Jimmy If you have two apples and your uncle gives you one what would you have?
Jimmy: I’d have 2 apples and a sore ass.
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
A horse walks into a bar…
The bartender says “Why the long face?”
The horse, unable to speak English, shits on the floor and leaves.
Just started dating an Italian bricklayer…
It’s cement to be.
You can’t spell advertisements without semen between the tits.