The Best Funny Dog Jokes

Dogs

in Animal Jokes
+693 -284

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…

“Mr Cook?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

Dog ball

in Dirty Jokes
+35 -21

Two homosexuals walking by the beach see a dog lick his own balls. The following conversation takes place.
Man 1: “I’d like to be able do that!”
Man 2: “Me too …. but I’m scared he might bite!”

Dog Face

in Yo Mama Jokes
+21 -24

Yo mama is so ugly that even dogs refuse to lick her face.

Sick Dog

in Animal Jokes, Racist Jokes
+36 -57

Got my sick dog put down earlier today. I was worried it was gonna be expensive but they actually did it for free and they gave me a bag of prawn crackers with 3 spring rolls.

Hit Dog

in Animal Jokes
+9 -30

Just hit a dog with my car on the way home from work. It’s OK though, I stopped the car, picked up the dog and put a suicide note under its paw.