Best Funny Dirty Jokes

The best top rated funny short dirty jokes of all time. Hilariously rude humor that looks at the funny side of sex.

Dirty Seniors

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An 80yr old couple were seen shagging furiously up against a fence. For 40 mins they shagged like Bast*rds. Arms and legs going everywhere until they fell to the floor. Christ she said “you didnt F*ck Me like that 50yrs ago! To which the old man replied “50 yrs ago that fence Wasnt F*cking electric!

Balloons

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At a family breakfast the following conversation takes place between a dad and his 7 year old son.

Son: Daddy what are those big round things on mummies chest?”
Dad: They’re balloons son. When mummy dies we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Son: Really? Because Uncle Frank was blowing them up yesterday and mummy kept saying “Oh God, I’m coming” but she didn’t float anywhere!

Chineseman

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chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house

Butt Cheeks

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What did the left butt cheek tell the right one..?
If we stick together, we can stop this sh*t.

Strip club

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Got thrown out a Strip club last night for using monopoly money. I don’t see why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.