Best Funny General Jokes

Collection of general hilarious funny short jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh.

Not Guilty

in General Jokes
+352 -85

Just had the following conversation in court.

Judge: State your name.
Me: Not Guilty
Judge: What?
Me: I had it legally changed.
Judge: You’re Not Guilty?
Me: Thanks, I’m outta here.

Facebook Name

in General Jokes
+272 -53

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.

Drinking Problem

in General Jokes
+210 -69

My doctor told me today I need to watch my drinking. I now drink in front of a mirror.

Calories

in General Jokes
+258 -121

I decided to burn a lot of calories today… I set fire to a fat kid that lives on my street!!

Last Words

in General Jokes
+249 -114

I’ll never forget my granddad’s last words. “Are you holding that ladder properly?”

3 Weeks to Live

in General Jokes
+221 -119

The following conversation took place today at the hospital after the doctor told me I’ve only got 3 weeks to live.

Me: Is there nothing you can give me to help?
Doctor: Try drinking 1 litre of olive oil every day
Me: Will that cure me?
Doctor: No but it will make your cremation a lot quicker.