Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Breast Implants

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The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.

Wife: Can I have $20’000 to get some breast implants to make them bigger.
Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.
Wife: Does that really work?
Husband: Well it seems to have worked on your ass.

Wife + Computer = Trouble

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The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

Hurricanes

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Q. Why do they name hurricanes after women?
A. Because when they arrive they are wet and wild but when they leave they take your house and car with them.

Romantic Walk

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Definition of Stalking: When two people go for a long romantic walk together but only one of them knows about it.

Wife Orgazm

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I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgazm but she said that she doesn’t like to call me at work.

Google Woman

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Q. What do women and Google have in common?
A. They both can’t ever let you finish a sentence without making a suggestion.