The Best Funny Wife Jokes

Chineseman

in Dirty Jokes
+1057 -574

chinese man rings boss “me no work I sick” boss says “when im sick I f*ck my wife try that” 2 hours later chinese man rings back “me better, you got nice house

Breast Implants

in Relationship Jokes
+329 -123

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife at the dinner table.

Wife: Can I have $20’000 to get some breast implants to make them bigger.
Husband: Why don’t you just rub toilet paper on your nipples.
Wife: Does that really work?
Husband: Well it seems to have worked on your ass.

Wife + Computer = Trouble

in Relationship Jokes
+276 -82

The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters day in December.

Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”

Wife Orgazm

in Relationship Jokes
+171 -63

I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgazm but she said that she doesn’t like to call me at work.

Ex-Wife

in Relationship Jokes
+155 -78

I’ve spent the last 3 years looking for my ex-wife’s killer… Still can’t find anyone to do it.

Lottery Win

in Relationship Jokes
+105 -40

The following conversation took place between a wife and husband after a lottery win.

Husband: If I won the lottery what would you do?
Wife: I’d divorce you and take half the money.
Husband: Ok, well I just won $10, here’s $5 now f*ck off!!