Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Cats

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+92 -58

Five things women love in cats but hate in men which proves they are crazy hypocrites.

1. Cats are covered in body hair.
2. Cats don’t listen.
3. Cats don’t come in when you call.
4. Cats stay out all night.
5. Cats like to be left alone and sleep all day.

Wedding Video

in Animal Jokes
+52 -21

Just watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where she takes off the ring, walks back down the isle and drives away

Duck Fart

in Animal Jokes
+48 -18

Q. How does a duck fart?

A. Through his arsequack.

Trunks

in Animal Jokes
+85 -56

Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up

Job Interview

in Animal Jokes
+53 -27

Just had the following conversation in a job interview.

Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.

Zebra

in Animal Jokes
+172 -148

Q. Why did the zebra beat the horse at chess?
A. Because it’s a-frican genius.