Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Bird Singing

in Animal Jokes
+152 -93

Do birds really “sing” or are they actually releasing tiny screams because they’re scared of heights?

Pets

in Animal Jokes
+134 -79

My teacher didn’t believe me when I said I had 36 pets so I showed her a picture of my fish tank.

She freaked out when she saw how many dogs I could fit in there.

Doggy Style

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+255 -212

Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.

Cats

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+110 -70

Five things women love in cats but hate in men which proves they are crazy hypocrites.

1. Cats are covered in body hair.
2. Cats don’t listen.
3. Cats don’t come in when you call.
4. Cats stay out all night.
5. Cats like to be left alone and sleep all day.

Job Interview

in Animal Jokes
+74 -34

Just had the following conversation in a job interview.

Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.

Trunks

in Animal Jokes
+99 -62

Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up