Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Bear teeth

in Animal Jokes
+105 -51

What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!

Wedding Video

in Animal Jokes
+72 -22

Just watched my wedding video backwards. I love the part where she takes off the ring, walks back down the isle and drives away

Doggy Style

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+248 -205

Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.


in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+107 -66

Five things women love in cats but hate in men which proves they are crazy hypocrites.

1. Cats are covered in body hair.
2. Cats don’t listen.
3. Cats don’t come in when you call.
4. Cats stay out all night.
5. Cats like to be left alone and sleep all day.

Job Interview

in Animal Jokes
+68 -30

Just had the following conversation in a job interview.

Interviewer: So why do you want this job?
Me: Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.


in Animal Jokes
+94 -59

Why can’t elephants go on the beach?
Because they can’t keep there trunks up