Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Dogs

in Animal Jokes
+746 -308

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…

“Mr Cook?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”

I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

Gay Dinosaur

in Animal Jokes
+251 -173

What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass

Alligator

in Animal Jokes
+220 -146

Q. What do you call an alligator who wears a vest?
A. An investigator.

Milk

in Animal Jokes
+200 -141

What Bee’s produce milk? Boo-bees.

Spider

in Animal Jokes
+104 -63

The other day my girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it….
So we went out and had some drinks. He’s a cool guy, wants to become a web developer.

Doggy Style

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+160 -134

Managed to have sex with my girlfriend for 1 hour 30 minutes doggy style last night. That’s 4 minutes in human time.