What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails? Single
Accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick. She’s still not talking to me.
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Just had the following conversation with my doctor after getting a health check.
Doctor: Don’t eat anything fatty Me: What? You mean like bacon or burgers? Doctor: No fatty!! Don’t eat anything.
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: How many women have u slept with? Husband: Only you darling, I was awake with the other women.