Wife asked me to knock something up in the kitchen… the housemaid is now pregnant.
I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up.
There are four stages in life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
Think I might have something wrong with one of my testicles, one of them seems smaller than the other two.
Read in the newspaper today that the police are looking for a racist attacker. I called them up to ask how much money they were offering but apparently it wasn’t a job advertisement.
Just been fired from my new job at the bank.
An old lady asked me to check her balance so I jumped on her back.