Q. What’s the difference between a flying pig and a politician? A. The letter F.
Did you hear about that new device that can make your car 95% quieter? It fits straight over your wife’s mouth.
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife whilst in the bedroom.
Wife: What do you like best my face or my sexy body? Husband: Your sense of humor.
Yo momma is so fat when she slept in the attic she woke up in the basement
I’ve lost my home, I’ve lost control and I can’t see any escape. Definitely time to get a new keyboard.
Went to the barbers today and asked to get my hair cut like Justin Bieber. He totally shaved my head bald. I said “What the hell have you done. Justin Bieber doesn’t have his hair cut like this!!”, the barber said “He would if he came into my shop.”