Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Nov

Phone Pickup Line

By The Judge

in Pick Up Lines

+102 -45

Do you have a phone in your back pocket… because your ass is calling me.

Jul

McDonalds

By Dave

in General Jokes

+84 -28

The following conversation took place at McDonalds between a stoned guy and a clerk.
Guy: “Can I have a McChicken sandwich, a pack of 20 cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey please.”
Clerk: “Sir this is McDonalds.”
Guy: “Ok sorry, I meant McCigarettes and McWhiskey.”

Dec

Definition of Hypocrisy

By Steve

in Relationship Jokes

+90 -34

Women color their hair, get boob-jobs, plastic surgery, liposuction, wear heels to increase their height…

Then complain that there’s no real men out there.

Aug

Primary School

By TomR

in Racist Jokes

Tags: Black Jokes

+120 -64

The following took place in a primary school.

Teacher: Ok class put your hand up if you know anything about police officers???
*Students raise their their hands*
Teacher: You only have to put one hand up Tyrone.

Aug

Coffee

By Casey

in General Jokes

+83 -28

Went to the doctors yesterday and told him that every time I drink coffee I get a stabbing pain in my right eye.

He advised me to take the spoon out of the cup.

Aug

Sorry

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+78 -23

The following conversation took place after a man accidentally elbowed a woman in the breasts.

Man: Really sorry, if your heart is as soft as your boobs you’ll forgive me.
Woman: If your c*ck is as hard as your elbow meet me in room 89