I went to hospital last night after breaking my left arm and the doctor told me I had to stop jerking off. I said “Why? What’s that got to do with anything?” he said “We’ve been having complaints about you from the other patients”.
If Hilary wins the election I wonder if she’ll keep the same desk that Monica used to go under.
Went to a really good Korean restaurant last night. The meatballs were the dogs b*llocks.
Q. Why do gays make the best dads? A. Because they know where all the parks are.
Q. What’s the difference between toilet paper and news paper? A. Toilet paper is brown and smells bad.
Q. How do you make a cat flap? A. Throw it off a cliff.