Fed up of being single? Fed up of dating websites? I’ve now developed the perfect strategy that is guaranteed success. Just lower your standards. My new girlfriend is actually a coconut sellotaped to a mop.
If your wet-wipes get dry pour some water on them to make them wet again.
Went on a flight with BA last night which was a total nightmare, he really hates flying.
Yo mama is so fat, when she cries butter come out her eyes instead of tears .
My best friend is entering the X-Factor this year and I want to give him all the help and support I can. So I killed his mum.
I come from a small family. I’m the youngest of three, my parents are both older.