I love Jesus. He’s born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate. He’s the best.
“Can you tie a good knot”?
“I cannot.”
“So you can knot?”
“No, I cannot knot!”
“Not knot?”
“Who’s there?”
“Fuck off!”
What do you call a bulletproof Irishman? Rick O’Shea.
I can just about handle going to work, but it’s the 8 hour wait to go home that really sucks the life out of me.
My wife told me she wants to be treated like a princess.
So I decided to invite seven midgets to join us for dinner tonight.
What’s green, red, purple and orange? Colours.