Just seen a man on a tractor shouting about the end of the world.
I think it was farmer Geddon.
Q. What do you call 100 spastics in a swimming pool? A. Vegetable soup
Yo momma is so fat, she sat on a TV and turned it into a flat-screen TV.
How many swimmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Don’t know yet. They keep getting electrocuted.
Have you ever woken up, kissed the person next to you and thanked God that you’re still alive?? I did that this morning. I’m now banned from flying with American Airlines.
Can you empty your pockets please I think you’ve stolen my heart.