The worst part about getting fired from my job at the unemployment office was that I still had to show up the next day.
The following conversation took place between a married couple.
Wife: Your c*ck reminds me of a supermarket. Husband: Why? Is it because it’s large and supplies your every need? Wife: No.. it’s because its Lidl
Are you a termite because you look like you would really enjoy a mouth full of wood.
Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake.
I’m fat but I’ve decided to identify as skinny.
I’m trans-slender.
Q. What’s the female version of a ManCave? A. The kitchen.