If you go for a piss and your urine is clear, you’re hydrated.
If it’s yellow, you’re dehydrated.
If it’s white, you’re shaking your c*ck too much.
My wife said I was rude for yawning when she was shouting at me.
I told her I wasn’t yawning, I was just trying to speak.
Last night my girlfriend asked me to name all the women I’ve slept with. I probably should have stopped when I got to her.
I took my wife to a dog show last week, she finished in 3rd place.
I’m not saying my ex is a slag but if c*cks could fly her mouth would be an airport.
What has 140 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.