Got my wife a pair of slippers and a vibrator for her birthday. If she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f*ck herself.
When you get married you get 3 rings.
1. Engagement Ring 2. Wedding Ring 3. SuffeRING!!
When me and my wife have arguments I always have the last word. Usually those words are ‘Sorry, you’re right’.
I want to meet a girl who loves romantic walks because I don’t have a car or any money.
Just accidentally pushed an old women on the floor. Apparently when she asked me to check her balance she was talking about a cash machine.
Got in trouble last night after I went on a date but didn’t open the car door for the lady I was with. To my shame I decided to just swim to the surface and save myself.