Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Jan

Accident Compensation

By Jamie

in General Jokes

+60 -38

The following conversation took place after being called by an accident compensation helpline.

Operator: Good afternoon sir, we’re calling about your recent accident.
Me: How did you know about that? At first I though it was just a fart but then I ended up shitting myself.
Operator: *Hangs up the phone*

Sep

Autocorrect

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+29 -7

The man who created auto-correct has dies.

Restaurant in peace.

Nov

Midnight

By SteveA

in Dirty Jokes

+44 -23

I was taking a shit at 11:59 and the clock struck midnight.

I thought to myself “same shit different day”.

Sep

Girlfriend Birthday

By Dave

in Relationship Jokes

+28 -7

My girlfriend wanted me to surprise her for her birthday so I phoned her from Morocco.

Feb

Wet

By SteveS

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Wife Jokes

+47 -26

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Wife: Give it to me i’m so f*ckin wet!
Husband: I don’t care how much you shout, I’m not giving you the umbrella.

Sep

Stop

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+44 -23

The following conversation took place between a mother and daughter.

Mother: If a boy touch’s boobs say don’t. If he touches your punani say stop.
Daughter: But mum he touched both so I said don’t stop.