Best Funny Relationship Jokes

I saved my mistress’ phone number as ‘LOW BATTERY’. Whenever she calls and I’m not around, the missus takes the phone and plugs it to the charger unknowingly.

Last night my wife asked me to treat her like a princess so I bought her a Mercedes and drove her into a wall.

Slept on the sofa last night. Apparently when my wife asked me to bring her something from the store for pancakes she wasn’t talking about a bra.

I vowed to my wife that I would never hit her again, that I would find a job and raise my kids properly.The tears streamed down her face, this moment of joy would stick in my mind forever.
The moment when I said “April fools!” and dropped that gullible bitch to the ground.

Gets her every year!