Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Her Hands

in Relationship Jokes
+61 -7

After years of marriage I’ve learnt that you can tell a lot about a woman just from her hands. When she’s holding a frying pan and waving it around that usually means she’s angry.

Like Best

in Relationship Jokes
+62 -9

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife whilst in the bedroom.

Wife: What do you like best my face or my sexy body?
Husband: Your sense of humor.

Bottle Top

in Relationship Jokes
+71 -19

Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.

Anywhere

in Relationship Jokes
+73 -23

Note to self…. When your girlfriend says “You can stick it anywhere you want”, that doesn’t include her sister.

Definition of Hypocrisy

in Relationship Jokes
+82 -33

Women color their hair, get boob-jobs, plastic surgery, liposuction, wear heels to increase their height…

Then complain that there’s no real men out there.

Abortions

in Relationship Jokes
+85 -37

“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?”
“Well, why don’t you ask your sister?”
“But I don’t have a…”