Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Smell

in Relationship Jokes
+122 -59

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Husband: Honey, can you smell that?
Wife: No.
Husband: Exactly I can’t either so get in the kitchen and start cooking.

A Cold Rain

in Relationship Jokes
+106 -43

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her in.

How Many

in Relationship Jokes
+96 -36

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shagging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

Compulsive Gambler

in Relationship Jokes
+85 -26

My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.

Car

in Relationship Jokes
+107 -50

Did you hear about that new device that can make your car 95% quieter? It fits straight over your wife’s mouth.

Going out

in Relationship Jokes
+109 -52

My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”.