Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Going out

in Relationship Jokes
+104 -49

My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”.

Compulsive Gambler

in Relationship Jokes
+78 -23

My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.

How Many

in Relationship Jokes
+89 -34

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shagging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

A Cold Rain

in Relationship Jokes
+96 -42

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her in.

Blind Girl

in Disabled Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+217 -164

I used to have a relationship with a blind girl which was rewarding but really challenging. It took me ages to learn how to copy her husband’s voice.

Her Hands

in Relationship Jokes
+54 -7

After years of marriage I’ve learnt that you can tell a lot about a woman just from her hands. When she’s holding a frying pan and waving it around that usually means she’s angry.