Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

How Many

in Relationship Jokes
+90 -34

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shagging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

Blind Girl

in Disabled Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+220 -164

I used to have a relationship with a blind girl which was rewarding but really challenging. It took me ages to learn how to copy her husband’s voice.

Car

in Relationship Jokes
+101 -46

Did you hear about that new device that can make your car 95% quieter? It fits straight over your wife’s mouth.

Going out

in Relationship Jokes
+105 -50

My wife was complaining the other day saying that I never take her anywhere expensive anymore. So I said “come on, get in the car we’re going to the petrol station”.

A Cold Rain

in Relationship Jokes
+97 -42

Whenever it rains, my wife just stands at the window looking kind of sad.
Maybe I should let her in.

Bottle Top

in Relationship Jokes
+66 -18

Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.