Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Love Me

in Relationship Jokes
+52 -51

The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.

Wife: Would you still love me if I became fat and lost my looks.
Husband: What do you mean “if”?

Beauty Sleep

in Relationship Jokes
+12 -11

My wife said she was going for a beauty sleep last night. I said “Ok, see you in 3 months time”.

Bald

in Relationship Jokes
+16 -15

I woke up bald this morning.

I think my wife misunderstood me when I told her to shave her twat.

Dangerous Drink

in Relationship Jokes
+20 -19

Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent.

Desk-Lamp

in Relationship Jokes
+9 -8

Just bought my wife a desk-lamp for Christmas.

Her face is really gonna light up when she sees it.

Girlfriend

in Relationship Jokes
+9 -8

Just broke up with my girlfriend. Don‘t know where me and Helen (or ‘saggy tits’ as I used to call her) went wrong.