Best Funny Relationship Jokes

My house cleaner is really starting to become annoying. She keeps asking me to move out and says she wants a divorce.

Me and my girlfriend recently started dieting together and we both agreed to having a ‘cheat day’. After a couple of weeks she started getting really angry with me.

Turns out I totally misunderstood and while she was eating pizza I was eating pussy.

I’ve never had any luck with women. When I was a baby my mother refused to breastfeed me, she said she only liked me as a friend.

Ladies please be careful when drinking tea. I found out last night that tea is more dangerous than alcohol. I came home at 4am after having 12 pints of beer and my wife who stayed at home drinking tea was really angry and violent.

Just broke up with my girlfriend. Don‘t know where me and Helen (or ‘saggy tits’ as I used to call her) went wrong.