Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Diamonds

in Relationship Jokes
+180 -35

Girlfriend just told me she doesn’t care what she gets for Christmas as long as it has diamonds in it.

A pack of playing cards it is then.

Facebook Message

in Dirty Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+271 -142

My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:

“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative”

Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?

Lip Balm

in Relationship Jokes
+172 -43

Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She’s still not talking to me.

Lottery Win

in Relationship Jokes
+166 -50

The following conversation took place between a wife and husband after a lottery win.

Husband: If I won the lottery what would you do?
Wife: I’d divorce you and take half the money.
Husband: Ok, well I just won $10, here’s $5 now f*ck off!!

Ex-Wife

in Relationship Jokes
+193 -88

I’ve spent the last 3 years looking for my ex-wife’s killer… Still can’t find anyone to do it.

Fridge

in Relationship Jokes
+144 -47

My wife left a note on the fridge this morning saying “This is not working​, goodbye”. Just opened the fridge and it’s working fine, very strange!