Best Funny Relationship Jokes

Funny short relationship jokes that pokes fun at relationships and marriage. Also includes numerous jokes about women and men.

Get Better Soon

in Relationship Jokes
+33 -9

I got my wife a get better soon card. She’s not ill or anything but she could definitely get better. 

Vacuum Cleaners

in Relationship Jokes
+35 -12

Q. What do wives and vacuum cleaners have in common?

A. They both start whining and stop sucking when they need to be replaced.

Look Nice

in Relationship Jokes
+32 -9

The other day my wife asked me to buy her something to make her look nice so I went to the liquor store.

Accident

in Relationship Jokes
+65 -42

Got stopped by a women in the street today. She said “Excuse me sir, have you had an accident in the last 3 years that wasn’t your fault? I said, “Yes, she’s nearly 3 now.”

Slippers

in Relationship Jokes
+30 -8

Got my wife a pair of slippers and a vibrator for her birthday.
If she doesn’t like the slippers she can go f*ck herself.

Car Door

in Relationship Jokes
+44 -22

Got in trouble last night after I went on a date but didn’t open the car door for the lady I was with. To my shame I decided to just swim to the surface and save myself.