Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Private Number Plates

in Animal Jokes
+17 -63

I can’t afford private number plates so I’ve decided to change my name to v16 5uw.

Four Legs

in Animal Jokes
+23 -70

What has four legs and one arm?

A Doberman in a playground

Freezer

in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+9 -56

My wife shouted at me today for forgetting to take the lamb out the freezer. Sadly it couldn’t withstand the freezing temperatures and died after a couple of hours.

New Puppy

in Animal Jokes
+31 -86

Just got back home from holiday and my new puppy has caused a lot of problems. It shat everywhere, ripped all the furniture and then starved to death.

Long Face

in Animal Jokes
+31 -98

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”. The horse turns to him and says, “My wife is dying of terminal cancer.”