Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Murder

in Animal Jokes
+16 -37

Called to police about 5 times today to report a murder on my front lawn but they keep telling me to stop bothering them. Apparently they don’t give a shit about crows.

Bank Loan

in Animal Jokes
+23 -45

Just been rejected by my bank for a loan. Apparently they only give money to people who already have lots of money.

Orange Cat

in Animal Jokes
+12 -34

What’s orange and looks like a cat?
A lion.

Venison

in Animal Jokes
+5 -27

Just bought some venison from the supermarket, its dead deer.

Birds

in Animal Jokes
+7 -30

Two birds were sitting on a tree and one looked at the other and said, ‘Dam today really FLEW by’.

Igloo

in Animal Jokes
+15 -38

Q. What do you call a cat that’s in an igloo?
A. An eskimeow.