Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Porky

in Animal Jokes
+20 -50

Whats pink and hard? A pig with a flick knife.

Pets

in Animal Jokes
+6 -36

PETS (People for the Ethical Treatment of Salad)

[throws salad into a garden]
Go home…you’re free now.

Addiction

in Animal Jokes
+16 -49

I used to have an addiction to rolling around in pig sh*t but now I’ve been clean for almost 3 years.

Worlds Laziest Fish

in Animal Jokes, Racist Jokes
+51 -87

Apparently the worlds laziest fish was discovered last week, it only swims 1 inch per day. The fish lives in the Black Sea, no surprise there!

Chinese Sailors

in Animal Jokes
+16 -52

Did you hear about the 6 Chinese sailors who were killed by a killer whale?
Apparently it was an orca-strated attack.

Private Number Plates

in Animal Jokes
+17 -62

I can’t afford private number plates so I’ve decided to change my name to v16 5uw.