Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Starving Parrot

in Animal Jokes
+11 -29

Q. Why did the parrot die of starvation?
A. Because it couldn’t say I’m hungry.

TV Lies

in Animal Jokes
+33 -52

Can’t believe how much my TV lies. Put my pet turtles in the microwave earlier today and they still can’t do any Karate.

snakes

in Animal Jokes, Dirty Jokes
+15 -34

Why don’t snakes have balls? Because they’re bad at dancing.

Roadkill

in Animal Jokes
+14 -33

Q. What’s the difference between a dead tramp and roadkill?
A. Roadkill has the skid marks on the front.

Chimpanzee Attack

in Animal Jokes
+17 -37

Did you hear about the 3 zoo employees who were injured recently? They got attacked by a chimpanzee that set fire to it’s own feces using a discarded cigarette. Apparently they were rushed to the hospital with TURD degree burns.

Lamb Chops

in Animal Jokes
+9 -29

My parents made a fortune from selling lamb chops.

They’re minted.