Best Funny Animal Jokes

Contains funny animal jokes and dirty one liners that will have you in stitches.

Chinese Sailors

in Animal Jokes
+15 -50

Did you hear about the 6 Chinese sailors who were killed by a killer whale?
Apparently it was an orca-strated attack.

Worlds Laziest Fish

in Animal Jokes, Racist Jokes
+48 -85

Apparently the worlds laziest fish was discovered last week, it only swims 1 inch per day. The fish lives in the Black Sea, no surprise there!

Private Number Plates

in Animal Jokes
+15 -61

I can’t afford private number plates so I’ve decided to change my name to v16 5uw.

Four Legs

in Animal Jokes
+23 -69

What has four legs and one arm?

A Doberman in a playground


in Animal Jokes, Relationship Jokes
+7 -55

My wife shouted at me today for forgetting to take the lamb out the freezer. Sadly it couldn’t withstand the freezing temperatures and died after a couple of hours.

New Puppy

in Animal Jokes
+28 -83

Just got back home from holiday and my new puppy has caused a lot of problems. It shat everywhere, ripped all the furniture and then starved to death.