Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Dec

Stages of Life

By Nick

in General Jokes

+54 -16

There are four stages in life:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

Oct

Doctor

By Shorty

in Dirty Jokes

+64 -26

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”

He winked at me and said “Well, I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”

Oct

Library

By Dave

in Dirty Jokes

+77 -39

The following conversation took place in a library.

Customer: Hi, I’m looking for the new book by Dr Schultz about small penises.
Librarian: Sorry, I don’t think it’s in yet.
Customer: Yes, that’s the one!!

Jul

Shower Chat-up Line

By Dave

in Pick Up Lines

+128 -90

Man: Do you shower after you have sex?
Woman: Yes of course.
Man: Well maybe you should have sex more often.

Oct

Birthday

By SteveB

in Relationship Jokes

Tags: Wife Jokes

+79 -41

Yesterday I asked my wife what she wanted for her upcoming birthday and she told me she wants something with a lot of diamonds. I hope she likes the pack of playing cards I got her.

Mar

Racist Teacher

By The Judge

in Racist Jokes

Tags: Chinese Jokes

+89 -51

Why did the teacher shout at the Asian but not at me?

Because I’m White and he’s Wong