Can’t believe how nice some people are. Got a compliment today about my driving. Someone left a message on my wind-shield that said ‘parking fine’.
Man: Hi, I bet i can guess your age by feeling your boobs!! Woman: Really?? Go on then. Man: *FEEL BOOBS FOR 30 SECONDS* My guess is that you were born yesterday.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day!
I went to the doctors today to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up.
There are four stages in life:
1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus.
Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”
He winked at me and said “Well, I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the car park.”