Had a beard growing competition over the weekend with one of my Indian friends from work. She won.
Had an overdose on Viagra last night. My wife took it really hard.
Spoke to my family today after my WiFi went down. They seem like nice people.
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Had a really great night out last night according to my police report.
‘Black Friday’ is such a scam, stuff’s not even that cheap. I prefer ‘Black Riot Day’, all you need to do is find a good shop with the windows broken and you can grab as much stuff as you like totally free of charge.