“Dad, how do you feel about abortions?” “Well, why don’t you ask your sister?” “But I don’t have a…”
Just had the following conversation in a job interview.
Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so jack could taste Jill’s candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock cuz Jill’s real name was randy
Just spent the last hour tightening every bottle top and jar in my house. That will teach my wife for saying she doesn’t need me anymore.
Played Islamic chess last night. It’s just like normal chess but the queen goes in the corner and she’s not allowed to move.
Yo mama is so ugly the local zoo uses a photo of her to stop the gorillas from beating off.