Q. How do you find your inner child? A. Coat hanger.
I killed 200 million people last night and feeling quite guilty. That’s the last time I read dirty magazine in bed.
Hi babe fancy coming over to my place? I’ve got a load of condoms that are approaching their ‘best before’ date and I need to use them up.
Q. How do you make apple crumble?
A. Release photos of children being beaten inside Chinese iPhone factories.
Don’t you just hate it when you’re having sex with a 13 year old and a cop comes out from nowhere and tells you to get out of the grave.
Q: What do you call a Russian prostitute who charges too much? A: Vagisdear Disputin