I’d love to see you take a sh*t.
I went on my first ever date with a girl last night, I treated her like a princess. It took the fire brigade 3 hours to cut us out after we crashed in the tunnel.
What do you call a Paki in a skip?
Beware of Donald Trump. He’s always plaCeing sUblimiNal messages inTo his speeches.
Q. How do you get a black man out of a tree?
A. Untie the rope and slowly lower him down making sure not to damage any of his tree surgeon tools.
Why do Chinese people love trying a 69?
Because sizzling beef in Szechuan sauce is their favourite meal.