Can’t believe how arrogant Stephen Hawking is. Got a message saying he needed a new wheelchair but every time I call him to arrange delivery it just goes through to his answerphone.
I’ve decided I’m never going to jack off in the shower ever again.
Just been informed by the police that I’ve now been given a lifetime ban from the Auschwitz Museum.
Q. Why did God create Eve?
A. To iron Adam’s leaf.
What’s the difference between an Afghan hospital and an Al Qaeda training camp?
I don’t know I just fly the drone.
Hi I’m doing a survey, can i have your name and phone number?
Yo mama is so stupid she wiped her ass before she took a sh*t.