Q. What do people and crayons have in common?
A. Nobody likes the white ones
I’ll get your coat, you’ve pulled a gentleman.
Are you gasoline prices? Because I love it when you go down.
Q. Why did the parrot die of starvation? A. Because it couldn’t say I’m hungry.
I got injured playing table tennis yesterday. It’s great having the extra surface area but the added weight can really hurt your back.
Man: Is this seat taken? Woman: Yeah, my boyfriend is sitting there. Man: Really? Well he must be really small then.