Fuel prices going up don’t effect me. When I fill up I only ever put £20 in.
My wife recently told me she wanted to go around the world so for her birthday I decided to buy her an atlas.
How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb ? Zero, they don’t bother doing it.
Why did the black man cross the road?
To get away from the cops.
I can never remember if its spelt laying or lying. Anyway I just hit an old woman with my car and she’s doing that in a car-park at the moment.
When I first found out I had a tumor I was horrified but now it’s starting to grow on me.