Best Short Jokes All Time

Collection of the all time best funny short jokes sorted by user rating.

Giant Mushroom

in Surreal Jokes
+6 -67

I had a dream this morning that I was floating on a giant mushroom but when I woke up I was shocked to discover that I’d actually crashed into a nursery.

Cooking Lessons

in Relationship Jokes
+15 -78

My wife recently starting taking cooking lessons and last night she surprised me by making spaghetti puttanesca with freshly baked garlic bread. After we finished the meal she said “Now be brutally honest, what did you think?”. I said “That meal was incredible, you fat c*nt”.

Newborn Baby

in General Jokes
+13 -77

I recent scientific study has found that a newborn baby can hear and see everything around it for about 10 seconds after being decapitated.


in Dirty Jokes, Disabled Jokes
+60 -124

My doctor told me last week that I don’t eat enough vegetables so I’ve now started dating a girl who has down syndrome.


in Racist Jokes
+103 -168

A kind-hearted German, a brave Frenchman, a thin American, a Chinese man with distinct facial features and an African man with a small c*ck walk into a bar and a Jew says, “Drinks are on me”.

Long Face

in Animal Jokes
+28 -96

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why the long face?”. The horse turns to him and says, “My wife is dying of terminal cancer.”