Asda have now recalled their Jimmy Saville advent calendars due to a fault. The flaps don’t open past 16.
Q. What’s the difference between hard and dark? A. It stays dark all night.
What does a Mexican put under his carpets?
Underlay!
Why are Catholic priests always running? Because they love to exercise demons.
Q: What did the hurricane say to the maple tree? A: If I blow you really hard I can make you release your seeds!
This week I managed to do 14 press ups. I did two press-ups every day for 7 days.