A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.
I got caught licking ice cream from my girlfriends breasts the other day. I don’t know who was more embarrassed me or the staff at McDonalds.
Q. What do you call a black man who smiles a lot? A. Snigger
Q. Why was the coffee sad?
A. Because it was depresso
Some people say there are no rules when it comes to love. Unfortunately for me the judge disagreed.
Just discovered I have superpowers. I can actually melt ice cubes by staring at them. It takes me quite a long time though.