They used to say ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’ but now most of the doctors are Muslim I find bacon works better.
A funeral was held today for the inventor of air conditioning. Thousands of fans attended.
Waking up to a surprise bj is great but not when you’re in prison.
The following conversation took place between a 3-year-old boy and his mum while having a bath.
Boy: ‘Mum are these round things between my legs my brains?’ Mum: ‘No not yet!’
Me and my boyfriend made love for 3 hours last night. We did a role-play of a doctor and a patient. He made me stay in the waiting room for 2 hours 56 minutes.
My girlfriend had her teeth whitened the other day. Well actually most of it went on her chin.